SWAT Teams in the Bathroom

In North Carolina, a law recently was passed saying that people were required to use whichever bathroom matched the gender they were born with. If you didn’t comply you could face fines and or criminal charges. Now, let’s take a step back here and realize what is happening, because the culture war could be taking place in the stall right next to you. Regardless of how you feel about the issue of transgender rights, or where you stand in the political spectrum, one thing is abundantly clear, and that is how in the name of the sweet lord are we to enforce and patrol every bathroom in North Carolina? What will we do? If a transgender man pops into the woman’s restroom to take care of business, will we send in the SWAT team to storm the stall and subdue the perpetrator?

Perhaps we could post guards at the entrance of each public restroom, to ensure only those with the right looking genitalia enter. That might require some supervision though, to make sure these protectors are fully inspecting both the driver’s license to check birth gender, and making sure that you match the little gender letter on your ID. Maybe we could take a lesson from the TSA and their incredibly efficient screening system. We could call it the Bathroom Safety Administration, or BSA for short, and establish an entirely functional bathroom bureaucracy to oversee the enforcement of gender specific bathrooms.   

Heck, all we’d need to do is pump up the tax rate a few percentage points and boom, instant government oversight of the bathroom. Sure the lines might be a little longer, and the screening a bit invasive, but, as we all know, safety in the bathroom trumps all other civil rights.

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